And by "Crisis" I mean...

OK. So maybe crisis is a little strong. Let's be honest, being a twenty something is nice tall glass of lemonade a solid 85% of the time. But for that 15% of the time when it's a sour sack of rotting lemons, I'm here. So when I say QLC (my fun new acronym for 1/4 life crisis), you can substitute the definition that is most useful to you:

1. Uncertainty

What overwhelms me and gives that fun and interesting new feeling somewhere between an asthma attack and a stroke is the complete blankness of all potential future landscapes. I have no idea what continent, much less what city, I'll  be living in in 12 months. I could be in the peace corps, I could be in a publishing house, I could be in grad school. Or I could be in my childhood bedroom trolling monster.com.
The point is not knowing the where means I don't know who i'll be spending time with, what I'll be doing, when I'll be doing it, or why (why I've ended up there, why they've gone against their better judgement and hired me...the why is a big one). And that degree of uncertainty is terrifying. Not butterflies in your stomach nervousness or loss of appetite anxiety but genuine, paralyzing terror that you have no idea what is coming next. It's like we're being forced to put our faces in a cannon barrel during a civil war reenactment training. Terror.

2. Confusion

So when you say "unpaid internship," could you please explain how that's different from slave labor? And when you say "well we never decided it was an open relationship," could you explain how that's not cheating? What do you mean books are no longer printed?
The world is an ever-changing, multi-layered metaphor of organizations and individuals designed to throw you off your A-game.
It's ok. It's at times like these that I repeat my mantra:

Be at one with the chaos of the universe

Trust that it will all work out. But, before you get to this point of clarity, you will obviously find yourself crying in a target aisle because you can't choose the right fabric softener scent. Just pretend that it's all part of the process.

3. Self Doubt

Confusion's partner in crime. If your parents tell you a million times that you should go to law school, and your teachers tell you, and friends tell you, and even strangers share their opinion every once in a while, you will at one point or another have a  moment of weakness when you start to believe them. Even though you know you don't want to be a lawyer. Even though you KNOW that you'll hate law school. You'll stop and wonder one day...are they right?

No. You're just experiencing one of the cornerstones of maturity: panic. Gravitating towards things that get referenced a lot in books and movies and that people tell you you'd be good at isn't the same as pursuing something safe or reasonable. It's just pursuing something that you don't want.

4. Fear

Fear. Fear of the unknown. Of commitment. Of actually going for your big dreams and falling short. Fear that all the good things have already happened? The sources are endless. The manifestations are rapidly multiplying. It's like rabbits. Now I bite my nails? Cool.

This completely false yet intense inclination that our pursuit of gainful employment slash financial independence slash sex and the city status social lives slash having-it-all-ness will either result in euphoria or homelessness is absurd. Accepting reality is not the same as settling.


I hope you found some of these alternate definitions useful, or at least I hope that they made you feel a little less alone. Now raise your box of Franzia to being one step closer to the rest of our lives. At least you made it through today.