Passively Social

I think that Paris is the most intensely and yet passively social place I have ever experienced. The city is essentially designed for people watching and the culinary and cultural experiences are structured in a way that everyone can watch each other. Walking down the street is like walking down a runway, partly because these women and men are dressed to the nines, flawlessly outfitted, and partly because you feel (justifiably) that you are being watched and judged in the same criteria. I half expect there to be a judges' table waiting at my front door. Well your outfit was good, not great, we give you an 8.3, but your air of mild disinterest and nonchalance is much improved, we give you a 9.1. If the pressure were not so unavoidably present it might start to weigh on you.

That's Paris. Dress the part. Act the part. Enjoy it, but be annoyed by tourists enjoying it. A lifestyle, but not a life. For that, I need some active social contact. A friend turned me on to the website meet up, which is basically like clubs for real people (indulge me in pretending that I am a real person). I have now been to three, and I have to say, they're awesome. Predictably, the social component is the hardest adjustment. Maybe it's not that predictable. But you learn how to act, you figure out the word for blueberry, you adapt to local grocery store behavior. There isn't a quick fix for "I don't know anyone within 1500 miles of me..." Maybe it would help if I used the local standard for measurement. C'Est la vie.

And this isn't a quick fix. I don't instantly have new best friends. But it is a solution. You get to hang out with good people who are passionate about something you're passionate about for a few hours. And whether it's just a band aid for the isolation or the first dose of a long term cure, it's a pretty solid way to spend an afternoon or evening.

Thursday, to celebrate the end of my first day of school, I joined a drawing Meet up on Ile st. Louis. I brought wine and madeleines and tried all manner of other French nosh as we enjoyed a picnic on the Seinne, sketching as the sun painted everything orange. I got to do something I enjoy (draw), in a way that I almost never get to do it (live action figure drawing), with a group of brand new supportive people. We ended by standing in a circle, passing to the left, and saying what we liked about the work we were holding. It was fabulous. Creative, fun, and affirming. And then I strolled home, eyeing the burnt Notre Dame, and studied French for 3 hours.

Today I went to another creative meet up, this time for writing. The group is called Shut Up and write, which sounds pretty antisocial, but it's this pretty cool concept where you work alone, but with people, for 30 minutes or so, and then you take a short break and eat and drink and gab. It's great. You get to hear about all these really cool projects and people and their thrilling lives and then you get to channel that creativity into your work. And it was in a shop called Anti Cafe, which is kind of what it sounds like. You pay by the hour, and then everything you want is free. Cookies, veggies, peanuts, teas, juices, cappuccinos, cafe cremes. That was basically my menu, and I only paid 7 Euro, which is less than I would have paid for two coffees at a cafe. And I got to eat fresh raw veggies! I feel so good.

A friend asked me what my least favorite part of Paris was so far, and I was proud that I didn't really have an answer. After a year of the hell of freelance life and part time work and suburban isolation, Paris really is a dream. And the hard stuff, the language and the social life and the rain, are all just part of the romantic adventure.