Wasn't Meant to Be

On a rainy day in May of 2010, I achieved a goal that had been on my radar for the majority of my childhood.  I graduated from college in one of the coolest and most unique cities in America.  During my time there, I witnessed a resurrection of a city that was brought to its knees and despite all evidence leading one to conclude otherwise, I can report that today, in July of 2013, it is back and better than ever.  This place and its people had every opportunity to close up shop and say, “Wasn’t meant to be”, but they didn’t.  When I left in 2010, I feared it would be permanent.  I would be leaving behind all the memories that I had created and I had no idea what to do next.  It was a crippling feeling.  I did not have a job and felt as if everything was falling apart.  It took six months, but I ended up getting a job, back in that wonderful city and a really cool one at that.  I was given the chance to make new memories in the same old place.  It was not until my last day of this wonderful opportunity that I realized why none of the other jobs I had applied for worked out.  This one was meant to be. 

Fast forward 2 ½ years and here we are.  That fantastic job was temporary and has just come to an end.  I have been looking for a job since April 2012 in the wide world of sports and have had no success.  Could it be worse?  Most definitely.  I am blessed to have the greatest “sponsors” in the world who have made my search for happiness possible.  Is this how I ever imagined my life at 25? Most definitely not.  I’m single and unemployed.  Although I love being 25, it’s just not what I had in mind.  I thought my life would be a little bit more together at this point.  The thing that is hardest to swallow is how little things have changed since the crippling month of May 2010.  I made progress, but find myself back in an all too familiar place.   I’m on my knees, looking for a sign with no idea what to do next.  I will most likely be leaving that city down South I love so much, but where I go next is the real unknown.  I have applied for more jobs than I would like to admit and have been told far too many times, “Wasn’t meant to be.”  The question I have is, what IS meant to be?  When will THAT one appear?  As I struggle to keep my sanity, I don’t have to look far for an inspiring example and another popular phrase, “It will all work out.”  22 year-old me was worrying about the same things, paralyzed by the fear that it would just never work out.  I’ve never been so happy to be so wrong.  I learned the meaning of, “Wasn’t meant to be,” as I found the exact opposite.  Like the city I love, I feel I have no choice, but to keep on fighting until I find the WAS meant to be I’ve been looking for. 

“Everything will be alright in the end.  If it is not alright, it is not yet the end.”