Things My Dad Says

In lieu of Friday's entry I bring you a special Fathers' Day bulletin?

To celebrate this day of dads I have decide to share a few kernels of his wisdom. Let me start by saying that everyone loves my dad. The same reasons that my mom yells at him, essentially for still behaving like a child, are the same things that attract people to his warmth, humor, and genuine happiness. I kind of love him. He's taught me a bunch. So now I present to you selected bits of wisdom from my favorite man in the world:

You Can Drive Your Car with Your Feet, But that Don't Make it a Good Idea (actually Chris Rock)

Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should. Nuff said.

Don't Order a Hamburger in a Chinese Restaurant

A narrow metaphor but universally useful piece of advice. You'll have the best experience if you make the most of where you are when you're there and with whoever you're with. Adjust your expectations appropriately. Adjust your behavior appropriately. Make the most of the moment.

Nothing good ever happens after 2 am

I will respectfully disagree with dear papa on this one (maybe if we adjust from old people time we're actually talking like 5 am?) In that case I would remind you that the more alcohol and the less sleep your system is coping with, the less intelligent your decision making will be. This will almost always be a huge mistake. But sometimes a huge mistake (is that what the kids are calling it these days?) is exactly what you need.

In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king

He seriously says this ALL the time. Two part take-away: 1. you should pay attention to people who know more than you. Because they know more than you. 2. Just because someone knows more than you doesn't mean they know everything. Watch out.

Be Quick. Don't Hurry. (this is actually John Wooden)

Safety in numbers! (those numbers specifically being the numbers on the clock indicating time) Be efficient. Don't be reckless. This mantra is as useful when applied to your work ethic as it is when applied to travel.

Don't stuff 10 lb of flour into a 5 lb sack

Thanks Dad! These are the delicately phrased words my father barked at me through childhood warning me to not look like a slut, more specifically a fat one.

Nobody's looking at you

Moving on to adolescence (the full picture of my self-confidence is coming in to focus, I'm sure) this is what my dad kindly reminded me every time I expressed the slightest discontent at my outfit for a bat-mitzvah, Sweet 16, or wedding. Retrospectively, it was a humbling reminder for an active member of the ME generation, but still, the delivery could have been workshopped a bit more. The most useful component of this failure to realize that sometimes I did want people to be looking at me was that it wasn't about me, and it's an important part of life to recognize who it is about and be supportive of them. (Though I maintain that doesn't mean I have to look like shit)

So in closing, thanks for all the advice dad. I hope that the next 22 years loosen some lips and I can find out just how you acquired all your worldly wisdom.
xo your loving daughter